& Wednesday, July 12, 2006

National schools, Won C Div , Lost A Div.

Does it matter, you asked?

Well, it's not the bile in my throat.

It's not my beating heart.

It's not my fustration or anger.

It's pity.

Pity, yes, i've never seen anybody broke down like that, at least not from what i remembered.

it's not pity as in " Here i'll clap your back and everything'll be ok " pity.

Have you ever loved something so much you would cry for it, work for it, drive yourself so hard until when it's just within reach, someone just tears it away from you and leave you powerless?

It's a wonderful feeling when you succeed, but it's a bitter mark when you fail.

I didn't cry. Maybe you won't understand why so many people cried until you actually experienced it for yourself.

I guess i just couldn't cry.

I guess i just don't love it as much.

I guess i just feel that pity for them...

It's not that the JC people didn't work or train hard, they did, and if you know it too you would wonder how they manage to juggle school life and training without breaking down.

Take Jingwen. For those of you who know him, you know how hard he trains, You know how hard he plays, You know him and what he's like.

He wasn't playing because of an injury, He was sitting on the sidelines, just watching people try to win, try to do themselves, their school proud.

He didn't get all teary-eyed when the A Divs lost, He was just calmly sitting there. He went up to Lincoln and start comforting and try to cheer him up.

Have you ever tried that before? Being so helpless, letting someone else fight in your place, and you have to show a brave face and cheer up those who lost, while hiding that aching lost?

I'm not sure i could. I would have just sat there and try to find out what went wrong...

"Come on, there's still the third and fourth placing match" He said

" Does it matter? No matter how exciting it is, no matter if we win or not, it's still the third or fourth place"

The clouds are beautiful today......

Not unlike the tears......

If the tears will help you to heal, then just let them fall......

There's the bright Sun,

There's the Blue Sky,

There's the wondering Clouds.

But it also could be a Hurtful Sun, a moody sky or lost clouds.

It all depends on how you see things.

This terrible feeling, this sense of lost, this feeling that you tried your hardest and still not succeed, this feeling of being cheated.

Being cheated of your hard work.

Being cheated of all your effort.

Being cheated of your dream...

It's not a good feeling i tell you.

It's not fair to cheat dreams.

Dreams are innoncent.

Dreams are naive.

Dreams can only be acheived by hard work.

But they can become real.

You would probably want to know who's to blame?

There's always a person that gets blame in a tragic event.

There's always this traitor.

Or this incompetent person.

Or that Back-Stabber.

But you cannot deny it. There must be such a person to have a tragic event......

In this case it's the referee.

I won't say anything about his judgement.

I won't say anything about his skills.

I won't say anything about whether he's siding with anybody.

But i will say this : He has cheated the dreams of one too many people......

But it doesn't matter.

We'll come back next year.

Stronger.

Faster.

Smarter.

But will it all matter?

Dreams are delicate little things.

Once bitten, twice shy......

It's a beautiful Sunset.......

( 7/12/2006 04:20:00 PM )

& Dream

lazy days
lonely nights
looking for a lonely star
who'd keep me company

looking at the widespread sky
being me a lonely soul
gazing at the moon so bright
making wishes upon a star

a blow of breeze
to animate
the freezing scene

so the strings of white gold ribbons
seem to tease the lonely moon
because it is standing still
and they are free to move

"twinkle twinkle little star . . . "
I used to sing when I was young
now I've grown but still today
" . . . how I wonder what you are"

lying down upon the meadows
dream of flying up so high
reach the stars, sit on the moon
dancing ballet with the clouds

& about

14
RI noobies
3P
13/04/92
Boy
Cool glasses
CCA: Judo
178cm
71kg

& links

Links

*Yifan
*Yidan
*Sumo
*Soggy
*Jasmine
*Eening
*Zheng Yi
*Yan Yan
*Jaslin
*Wayne
*Fu Ying
*Max
*Emma
*Chun Yin
*Wei Xiang ( Not Fan Club )
*Zhong Ren
*Jing Wen
*Sarah ( Who's That? )
*Iz
*Air
*Ahmed
*Chinkie

& Loves

Badminton
Judo
Bowling
Pacing
Reading
Chatting
Laughing

& Hates

This is blank so nobody can hate me or anything

& Wishes

Grow taller ( Aim for 180!! )
Grow slimer ( Aim for 65? )
Germany winning the ( Next )World Cup
GPA ( Nah no aim : p )
Manage Sec 3 without screwing up

& Pet

& Past

June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; December 2006; February 2007; April 2007; May 2007;

& creds

Brushes: & % ! ?
Design:kriss
Download:blogskins
Image from:getty
Image host:photobucket
Yidan For Helping With The HTML Scripts
Coffecup For Confusing Me With The HTML Scipts
http://hanatosake.blogspot.com/ For Providing The Various Inspiration And The Poem
All Of You

& Visited