Nitex_

& Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Now this is something interesting i'ad found on the net.

Laugh freely.

I just want to give you something to cheer up to.

( 7/25/2006 05:34:00 PM )

&

Arrrrhhhhhhh........

The stress.........

Just came back from school.

Had a normal day.

The next three days.

Is gonna be.

Hell.

We'll have Maths TA.

That's topical assesment.

It doesn't help that we're learning maths.

Every assesment is terrible.

Yes, even those that gets you high marks.

Next.

English CCT.

Julius Caesar.

You know.

That crazy guy with a band of leaves around his head? ( I think so )

Skip.

Geography project.

Bout trees.

Leaves you wondering what they're really teaching eh?

So.

Geog+Eng+Maths.

Equals?

Yes it equates partially to a half-deranged guy foaming at the mouth.

But what else?

Think hard.

Ah ha.

I see you'd gotten it.

Let's say it together.

1, and 2 and 3 and.

Teletubbies, teletubbies, say hel-lo.

Twinke-Winke, Dips..........( Notice stares )

Oops.

Got a little carried away there.

Nevermind.

You'll realise the other part in due time.

( Hum to self~ ) Dipsy, Lala, Po~o.........

( 7/25/2006 03:43:00 PM )

& Friday, July 21, 2006

I'm smiling.

I'm laughing.

Oh yes i am.

Thank you all my friends.

For cheering me up.

For supporting me.

And especially Soggy, who keeps poking people.

I know you have your own troubles.

I know you have your own worries.

I know you have your own things to do.

But despite it all.

None of you just sat there.

And do your own stuff.

No.

When we lost.

Someone came to slap my back.

When i cried.

Someone told me to cheer up and that there's always next year.

When i had a glum face.

Someone told me it's not over.

Maybe i don't remember everyone who encouraged me.

But.

Looking back now.

I wish.

When they need me.

That i have the courage.

The same that they have in abundance.

To step out.

And do that little thing.

Play that little part.

To cheer them up.

To help them stand up on their feets again.

I hope.

I will be there.

Too.

I definitely remembered that it was Jingwen who whacked me on the head.

I definitely remembered it was Wei Xiang that slapped my back.

Hard.

Don't worry guys.

I'll be there for you when you need me too.

And then.

And then.

We'll start anew.

( 7/21/2006 04:54:00 PM )

& Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Finished.

It's over.

That's it.

And life goes on.

But it just feels like you left a chunk of you behind.

On that very special day.

National schools.

You feel so helpless.

Sitting on the sidelines.

Cheering your heart out.

Yet worrying whether it's all gonna work out.

And as the tears well up.

As you try hard to keep them within their reins.

As you close your eyes and try to act as if some dust had just got into it.

As you struggle not to take another breath that might betray you.

You wonder.

You wonder.

What're you really doing this for?

What makes you go through all this?

Then you break.

And the tears just flow through you.

Not just the tears.

The sorrow.

The unjust.

Our fate........

You'll get this awful feeling.

That all you've been doing's for nothing.

That no matter how hard you try.

It won't work.

You want to cry out.

Vent your fustration.

Your anger.

Your helplessness.

And then.

And then.

You'll feel better.

Just cry out.

When they were there slapping each others back.

Trying not to cry out themselves.

What will the others think?

As they hug.

As they try to share their sorrow.

To make people understand what they had went through and will continue to do so to win.

As they try to get people to see their effort.

And if they fail.

What will they have left?

Their dreams are shattered.

Their will is broken.

Their souls are drained.

Their faith is thin.

And who will they turn to?

Who will understand them?

Nobody.

Besides themselves.

And that's why.

They cry.

( 7/19/2006 09:48:00 PM )

&

We lost.

We lost.

We lost.

I'm tempted to break something.

I really am.

Maybe i'm angry.

Maybe i'm fustrated.

Maybe i'm just plain mad.

But i cried.

Bitterly.

It isn't fair.

Life isn't fair.

Precisely.

It isn't fair we lost.

It isn't fair that we had trained so hard.

Sweated blood.

Bled and sweated for our dreams.

Only to lose all our dreams.

In that measley little space of 10 minutes.

It's so ironic.

We trained for one and a half year.

Only to lose it all.

In so short a time.

All that blood and sweat and toll for nothing.

But a little silver cup screwed on the wrong way.

And a little crooked.

Yes.

I know.

If you get gold.

You'll get this little gold cup screwed on the wrong way.

And a little crooked too, of cause.

But anyway.

One and a half years.......

Why can't we win them?

Didn't we train as hard as them?

Don't we have the same fighting spirit as them?

Don't we both want to win as much?

You may think i'm a little emotional.

But spend 3 hours a day on this for over a year.

And you'll understand.

Understand that.

Why there is a sense of loss.

Why i cried.

( 7/19/2006 07:48:00 PM )

& Tuesday, July 18, 2006

It's the finals for tommorrow.

Finals for B Div boys.

Finals for A Div girls.

Finals for B Div girls.

Finals for us.

Us.

Them.

We.

Whatever.

Us vs HCI.

As usual.

I wish we could win.

I wish we will win.

I wish......

I wish......

Nevermind.

We will win.

That's it.

We will win.

Anybody who says otherwise......

Tell him......

He's wrong.

He's wrong.

Definitely.

You could say i'm a little nervous right now.

You could say i'm a little jumpy right now.

You could say i'm a little afraid.

Of tommorrow?

Maybe.

Of what we'll do tommorrow?

Maybe.

Of the end of tommorrow?

When you look back.

And muttered to yourself.

It should not have happened like that.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Let's do something we would not regret later.

Let's do what we can.

Let's do what we should do.

Let's do our best.

3 , 2 , 1 , RAFFLES.

( 7/18/2006 07:26:00 PM )

& Monday, July 17, 2006

I want to cry.

I want to just sink into the darkness.

I just want to be left alone.

You could say i'm a little sad.

You could say i'm a little lonely.

You could say i'm a little of a Cry - Baby.

But maybe i'm just sad.

Maybe i'm just lonely.

Maybe i'm just afraid.

Afraid of the dark.

Afraid of the deep.

Afraid of what you'll say.

And what can i do about it?

I couldn't convince you.

I couldn't stay with you.

I couldn't get you to love me.

So should i just give up?

Should i just hide in a dark corner?

Should i just go somewhere where you can never find me?

Who am i?

Who should i be?

Where should i go?

What should i do?

Just to question people's dreams......

Believe.

Believe.

And you will see.

Believe me, and you will see how much i love you.

How much i treasure you.

How much that i take you for granted.

And never thank God.

For giving me this wonderful gift.

That brought light to my life.

That breathe life into my dreams.

That just loves me without wanting anything back.

Until now.

I.......

I.......

I.......

I.......Wanna be someone like that in somebody else's life.

I want to share her dreams.

I want to cuddle her and tell her never to give up when she cries.

I want to hold her in my arms and just listen to her gentle breath.

I just want to be there, under the same starry night with her.

Looking at the stars.

Searching for our dreams.

Living our seperate lives.

Apart.

Again.

Feels so sad.

I don't know why i wanted to write this.

Maybe it's the sense of longing.

Maybe it's the days of crying and having to hide it all.

Maybe it's just cause i'm thinking bout you.

Just this.

If you're out there.

Somewhere.

At some corner of this Green Earth.

I will find you.

And we will live happily ever after.

I hope.

And that'll be our fairy tale.

( 7/17/2006 09:54:00 PM )

& Saturday, July 15, 2006

Hey there, see you're back here again.

Nevermind the weird stares.

Nevermind the back-stabbing.

Nevermind the broken hearts.

As long as you're here with me......

I shall go on.

Apply that paragraph to the RGCO concert, and it'll be:

Hey there, see you're back here again.

Nevermind the acoustics.

Nevermind the mumbling.

Nevermind the seats.

As long as i have my instrument......

I shall play on.

Nah.

It wasn't so bad.

It was a beautiful night in Orchard.

A night of girls. ( playing instruments )

A night of Enjoyment.

A night of music.

Beautiful music.

Wonderful music.

Lovely music.

Well, at the start there was these two little Sec 1s ( If you're reading this blog right now, please don't feel offended. It's a compliment. ) came on stage to announce the songs to be played.

Wayne : Awhhhhh, look at them......So cute......

Me : Wayne you phedophile.

Wayne : Peisu what're you thinking?

Well, at the end the performers start filling in through the entrance.

There goes the Erhu people.

There goes the Cello band.

There goes the Bass girls.

The list goes on......

They put on a stunning performance in the end.

A magical performance.

An enchanting performance.

A musical dream.

A night to be remembered.

Priscilla was good too.

First time i've seen her again since last year......

Dropped her glasses but still kept that old hairstyle.

The " guai girl " one.

The one that hangs around your head.

The one that swings around when you turn your head.

The " Soggy hairstyle " .

Nice contacts.

Though i couldn't really see clearly.

Though i couldn't reach out to touch.

Though i couldn't hear every laughter.

There's still the music.

There's still the memories.

There's still the old feelings.

But nevermind.

I'll hang on.

I'll wait.

I'll remember.

And i will remember for a long time......

So sad.......

Well, will meet her in RJC still i guess.

It ended at bout 10 pm.

Quite late.

People start filing out.

Well, Chun Yin's got this flower he bought.

He doesn't know who to give it to.

That beautiful girl over there?

That cute performer there?

The lively Cello girls?

He just couldn't make up his mind.

Chun Yin : Arhhh. Idon't know who to give my flower to.

Me : You give, i give.

I still remember the shocked face of the girl when she recieved flowers from two guys she had never knew.

When her friends go : Whoooooo......

Senario : Chun Yin walked up.

Gave his flowers.

( Friends giggle )

I walk up.

Gave my flowers.

( Friends giggle madly )

I mean, what there to go " whooo " about?

It's just a bunch of flowers.

Must be something strange about the flowers.

Let's examine it.

Yellowish.

Whitish.

Petalish.

Stalkish.

That's it.

What so strange about that?

She doth love me * Pluck *

She doth not loves me. * Pluck *

She doth love me * Pluck *

Well, considering that there are 3 flowers and each have something like 50+ petals, i shall not go on.

Well, Yidan brought her friend, an ABC along ( No offense to the really PC people out there ) .

Not a CBA like Yan Jun.

Nevermind if you don't understand this bit.

It's just for laughs.

Arhhhhh.

I gave the girl my flowers.

And i forgot to give my friend any!

How could i?

It's all Chun Yin's fault.

Made me gave my flowers to the girl.

Darn.

She must be sad.......

She must be wondering : Where's my flowers?

She may be scared.

She may be sad.

She may be crying.

But she'll never be alone.

For i'll always be there to comfort her.

To hold her.

To tell her stories.

To be there for her.

( 7/15/2006 07:32:00 PM )

& Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's uncommon for someone to double-post in one day, so i'll make this short.

I wrote this entry to tell you something you'll regret if you miss it.

Look outside your window. What do you see?

A bird?

A few clouds?

The Sun?

I see a band of Gold.

A band of Crimson.

And a band of Violet.

That is the Sunset. I don't know why the Sunset appears so beautiful today.

Maybe it's cause i just lost something i dearly love.

Maybe it's cause i just had a moody day.

Maybe it's cause i'm just in a bad mood.

It's short, there, it's going, but it's beautiful while it lasts.

The last peak of Gold is left, consumed by the Violet that will soon turn greyish-black.

A few distant wispy clouds......

A band of Crimson,
A drum of Gold.
Passing Violet,
Bear my woe.

Maybe it's the poem.

Maybe it's the Sunset.

Or maybe it's just cause i'm writing to you......

I suddenly feel a lightness in my heart.

I want to see it again.....

( 7/12/2006 07:33:00 PM )

&

National schools, Won C Div , Lost A Div.

Does it matter, you asked?

Well, it's not the bile in my throat.

It's not my beating heart.

It's not my fustration or anger.

It's pity.

Pity, yes, i've never seen anybody broke down like that, at least not from what i remembered.

it's not pity as in " Here i'll clap your back and everything'll be ok " pity.

Have you ever loved something so much you would cry for it, work for it, drive yourself so hard until when it's just within reach, someone just tears it away from you and leave you powerless?

It's a wonderful feeling when you succeed, but it's a bitter mark when you fail.

I didn't cry. Maybe you won't understand why so many people cried until you actually experienced it for yourself.

I guess i just couldn't cry.

I guess i just don't love it as much.

I guess i just feel that pity for them...

It's not that the JC people didn't work or train hard, they did, and if you know it too you would wonder how they manage to juggle school life and training without breaking down.

Take Jingwen. For those of you who know him, you know how hard he trains, You know how hard he plays, You know him and what he's like.

He wasn't playing because of an injury, He was sitting on the sidelines, just watching people try to win, try to do themselves, their school proud.

He didn't get all teary-eyed when the A Divs lost, He was just calmly sitting there. He went up to Lincoln and start comforting and try to cheer him up.

Have you ever tried that before? Being so helpless, letting someone else fight in your place, and you have to show a brave face and cheer up those who lost, while hiding that aching lost?

I'm not sure i could. I would have just sat there and try to find out what went wrong...

"Come on, there's still the third and fourth placing match" He said

" Does it matter? No matter how exciting it is, no matter if we win or not, it's still the third or fourth place"

The clouds are beautiful today......

Not unlike the tears......

If the tears will help you to heal, then just let them fall......

There's the bright Sun,

There's the Blue Sky,

There's the wondering Clouds.

But it also could be a Hurtful Sun, a moody sky or lost clouds.

It all depends on how you see things.

This terrible feeling, this sense of lost, this feeling that you tried your hardest and still not succeed, this feeling of being cheated.

Being cheated of your hard work.

Being cheated of all your effort.

Being cheated of your dream...

It's not a good feeling i tell you.

It's not fair to cheat dreams.

Dreams are innoncent.

Dreams are naive.

Dreams can only be acheived by hard work.

But they can become real.

You would probably want to know who's to blame?

There's always a person that gets blame in a tragic event.

There's always this traitor.

Or this incompetent person.

Or that Back-Stabber.

But you cannot deny it. There must be such a person to have a tragic event......

In this case it's the referee.

I won't say anything about his judgement.

I won't say anything about his skills.

I won't say anything about whether he's siding with anybody.

But i will say this : He has cheated the dreams of one too many people......

But it doesn't matter.

We'll come back next year.

Stronger.

Faster.

Smarter.

But will it all matter?

Dreams are delicate little things.

Once bitten, twice shy......

It's a beautiful Sunset.......

( 7/12/2006 04:20:00 PM )

& Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Well, this is a poem i discovered while surfing the net. I feel that it's pretty interesting so i should paste it up here.

Life's Mirror by M. Bridges

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,
There are souls that are pure and true,
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,
A strength in your utmost need,
Have faith, and a score of hearts will show
Their faith in your word and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind;
And honor will honor meet;
And a smile that is sweet will surely find
A smile that is just as sweet.

Give pity and sorrow to those who mourn,
You will gather in flowers again
The scattered seeds from your thoughts outborne
Though the sowing seemed but vain.

For life is the mirror of king and slave, '
Tis just what we are and do;
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

I shall try to post a meaningful poem every week if i can but of cause i can just spam it everywhere : P.

Life is tough today, but isn't everyday like that, you ask?

Well...no .

You see, we had Maths, English and Chinese back to back. No, it isn't the CSI back to back ( Though that's good ).

Imagine : CSI Maths, CSI English and CSI Chinese Back To Back...Shudder.

Well, yeah, shudder. I am in a air - con room you know.

It's especially terrible, when you have to fight for every inch to Dreamland.

But, well, i had to admit, English was better then normal.

We had this guest speaker with us today describing how to create stage tools and so on.

Guest speaker : Anything you can make within 3 seconds, it's good.

Well, i mean, that's ridiculous, isn't it? Isn't it?

Well, i looked at Keng Chee and Keng Chee Looked at me...Then we both bent low to draw the other guy.

In the end, i'm made of 6 circles while Keng Chee's made of..let me see..three circle, a triangle and two rectangles.

Wow, he's much more complex then me...

Anyway, it's lucky we pass all three lessons uneventfully...except for Gao Sai, Marcus Koe. Rugger, cut Botak haha.

The chinese teacher noticed him and apparently decided he has this weird hair pattern that indicates he's "extremely lusty" quote Chinese Teacher.

Marcus : Fine!! Are you "extremely lusty" ma'am? ( Quote again )

Haha, well, that's what you get by messing with Gao Sai.

Hmmm, Anyway, National Schools is tommorrow, arhhhh, i don't know whether i'm in middleweight, heavyweight, open or not playing at all!!

All the nervous energy...must play Xbox!! Preciousss.....my preciousss....

Ah heck, i guess it'll all be clear tommorrow, nothing like experiencing it yourself, no point double - guessing yourself. Everything will lay bare tommorrow...

But....Maybe i don't wan't a tommorrow...Maybe i just wan't today to last forever....with you.........

( 7/11/2006 05:11:00 PM )

& Saturday, July 08, 2006

Wow.

It was Cosi Bello yesterday!! The Nanyang Choir concert. Soggy sold us the tickets lor, said it would be good, costs 12 dollars.

Well, it was,.kinda~. I mean, what's more wonderful then a bunch of girl standing on stage and blasting a 90 decibal soprano at you?

For starters, i was late. Went by NJC then thought: hey, wasn't that NJC? OMG i'm at NJC i must be lost!!

And after that,

I found out i have this gigantic stain on my perfectly white polo shirt!! I mean, this weird white stain's standing out against my white polo shirt so much, somebody's bound to notice!!

And what could i do? Well, i couldn't wash it again right, so i had to bear with it throughtout the concert. Sigh~ i can just picture myself in that white polo shirt with that white stain. Terrible~

Sigh~ at least the concert went well. Soggy was good. She actually sang!!

She was in the third row lor, Wayne almost couldn't see her coz she was blocked somewhat by the girl in front of her.

Wayne asked: Where's Soggy? I can't see (her ).

Don't worry Soggy, i'm whacking him for you.

Anyway, it turned out to be a great concert. Soggy really gave it her best ( First time i've seen that ) and as far as i know everybody enjoyed it.

We even shouted for her during the intervals, like, me : HEY SOGGY
Wayne and Yidan: hey soggy

Why, she was so motivated she ermmm, did nothing. Frozen in ermmmm, passion i guess.

Haha, anyway, it was a great concert and it lasted till like 9pm. Quite enjoyable. Though i really wished RI had swings too. Well, they have this huge tires attached to chains in the courtyard that looks like swings.

Isit a bird? Isit a plane? No, it's a huge tire attached to a wooden frame by metal chains!! Omg

Hmmmm, going off to watch NUMB3Rs now. It's a great show, very interesting.

Count down: 4 Days to National Schools

( 7/08/2006 09:21:00 PM )

& Tuesday, July 25, 2006

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